Drunken Moments

Now I'm interested! (Not really )

LOL

I do think they are funny, what surprises is that they are told with a sense of pride almost. The more ridiculous the thing you do the more off your face you were, the bigger and better a man you are almost. It's a funny old world

Approached John Prescot with a camera and a belly full of ale and got to within 8' of him before being surrounded by the British secret service. Half a dozen 60YO 10 stone blokes who would have all killed me in a second if John had said so. Luckily he let us take the picture. Top bloke Prezza.

Sobered up very quickly after being surrounded by the Polish mob, in Poland and threatened with a stark "Be carefull lads. There are still wolves in these woods." A mate of mine had the job of testing the European srongest man comp. These guys didnt like my mate. I was f**king going off him fast at this stage.

Had the impression that some woman fancied me whilst at the same SM comp. Turns out that she was married to a former WSM who was at the time sat next to her at he time. He found it funny, hence the reason my arms are still attached at the socket.

Following morning spent the trip back to Prague airport sa next to big Z pucking in a bag before finally falling asleep.

Was woke up by my mate prodding me. I took a wide swing at him with my eyes shut and screamed at him to f**k Off, before opening my eyes and realising it was Czech border conrol prodding me with the working end of some well used looking automatic rifle. Luckily we both saw the funny side. Me because I didnt get shot, him because he knew I had to change my undergarments.

I've had many such trips.

I dont really care if this is or isnt funny. Gun culture is no laughing matter.

Were you armed with an egg?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_GLHsq_8KU

Now, this IS funny

One drunken moment A friend and me decided after being knocked back from a night clubb we should flip the door mans ford mondeo. Regret that one kinda but he was a knob.

Was pepper sprayed once after placing a wing Mirror of a golf r32 through it's sun roof whilst the driver was still in the car.

Broke my wrist when me and a few friends decided that it would be funny to role down sand dunes.

Just a camera mate. It was shortly after his famous punch up, but I reckon I could have took him. At least until his ex SAS mates turned up out of nowhere to back him up.

Who was it? I'm guessing Karlsen.

Once I got so pissed at my mates house that I spat huge lobs of phlegm around his sitting room. I had to be restrained and still carry a shoulder separation injury from that. When I returned to my parents house I decided to squat and lay a huge turd on my bedroom carpet in front of my mother.

Once me and my mates had been drinking for about 3 days with no sleep in the run up, journey and arrival to benidorm. WE went straight out on the piss. I remember throwing dried pasta at diners at some restaurant. I'd bought a half oz of weed (can't remember where from) and my last memory of that night was walking down the centre of a busy a street eating half a chicken. I awoke the next morning on a bench on a seafront next to a pile of vomit. My trainers which I had saved for the holday had been stolen from my feet, and my wallet was gone. The kind hearted thief left me with a grotty old towel under my head ( with a hole curiously cut out of it). The weed was still in my pocket. I must have walked miles barefoot in the sun looking for my hotel. My lips were completely cracked and arrid. I asked some spanish dudes on the beacjh where my hotel was and they drew a makeshift map in the sand. Turns out my place of rest was just round the corner from my hotel. I had to suffer miles more barefoot torment before I finally reached the hotel.

Not proud of any of this s**t. It serves as a good reference of how pissed you should never get.

The most ridiculously stupid thing I have done is thrown four wooden chairs and a table off an 8th story balcony in a hotel in Magaluf

Look I didnt f**king kill someone

Had a party at my old house some years back and a neighbour turned up who we all called GI Joe. He was a skinny little git in his late 40's, maybe 50 who went around telling everyone he was ex Special Forces and now worked in VIP protection. We all thought he was full of s**t, and as the beer and vodka were consumed I became more and more determined to find out if the guy was for real so, in a friendly way, decided to offer the guy out in my front room. All my best mates were there to witness me being thoroughly embarrassed by a man half my size, and in very short order I was locked up in a choke hold tapping out submission. I had three goes at him, one go lasting quite a bit longer than the other two, but it was to no avail, he beat me each time. He told me later that it would have been easier for him to kill me than to restrain me...

The next morning I went round to his house to see if we were still mates and he came down in his dressing gown, opened it, and showed me a bandage around his waist. Apparently he had woken in agony in the night, been to the Hospital and diagnosed a broken Rib. He said that was the last time he would wrestle an aggressive 20 stone man whilst drunk LOL

We are still best mates to this day.

I dont drink often enough to handle it well, that's my disclaimer..

Walking past our old primary school one night we decided to break in an mess around, we pushed the window through (it was plastic?) got in and started throwing chairs. I found Mrs Mortons desk and s**t on it. Then we left.

Few weeks later we had a bbq and I met my aunties boyfriend who I heard was a teacher who'd js moved round here. Someone was asking him how it was at the old school and he said "it's ok ye but you'll never believe what happened couple o' weeks back, some kids broke in and s**t on my desk"