what did you have for tea?

Is it a yeast based sparkling drink or a snaps

Schnapps is distilled to be over a certain percentage, which yeast alone cannot survive as it dies of alcohol poisoning. This is wine, so about 12%.

Helped a friend out painting his gran's roof white to reflect the sun, had a shower, got out of the shower, checked my phone, another friend called as he needed help with the machine that separates wheat, barley, chaff etc. I didn't get a chance to eat. His partner made me lettuce, tomato, edam and turkey sandwiches, then brought me a CHEDDAR AND BRANSTON PICKLE SAMMICH. I don't know why he hasn't married her. If he doesn't, I will. I do realise it's him that BOUGHT the Branston, but she made it for me. Damn near wanted to cry. I have been craving it a lot lately, not had any for 5 years as you can't buy it in the north.

My gran cooked okra, tomatoes, onions etc. Total cost zero. I dished it up before it was 100% cooked as I didn't have time. This was about 4 hours ago. I still haven't managed to eat it. FML.

Applied for a job with a hotel's security team. It involved pushing a button to make the gate go up, and sometimes rummaging in bags.

Cheddar & Branston is a match made in heaven, be it cheese/toast or just on crackers.

I did used to love a good Branston and Cheddar toasted sandwich when I was in London, and I have had none of the Branston and very little Cheddar goodness.
I find myself craving the oddest of things, like Dr Pepper, Gregg's, Scotch eggs, Morrisons' rotisserie chicken when you open the bag and it's steaming, then you get a french stick to mop up the juices.

Haha that's f**king class although I wouldn't expect anything less from you.

Standard behaviour. What other options are there?

My gran demanded I buy her a watermelon. Went to try some, ended up eating about half of it so 2.5 kilos of watermelon just before my nap. Dinner was haricot beans cooked with tomatoes, onions, probably had some celery or something in there too. Then had 2 tuna steaks. Gonna pop back into the house for more watermelon now.

Beetroot straight from the garden, grated and added to any savoury meal delicious and nutritious.

Gran made chicken soup with potatoes and rice. Delusional woman who thinks hot soup is a good idea in 40+ degree heat.

Then got hungry again and went out - double cheeseburger with pickles and stuff, decently spiced chips with peri-peri style salt, onion rings.

45 degrees at 4pm, so it was probably closer to 50 in the afternoon. Perfect time for a hot Chicken Jalfrezzi, rice, poppadums, naan, (can of) coke.

11pm - currently eating 2 tuna steaks, rice, and some grated cheese, all mixed up in a bowl.

Baby squid, octopus, "crab legs", calamary, jumbo prawns, chips, rice, mezes. Get in ma belly!

Monster lionfish and about 30 odd prawns. Poor prawns were still alive when they got into the pan.