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» An old, fat fool starts a log. Hope no-one minds (Go to post)23-01-2021 @ 16:42 
More soddin' snow. Not very much and nothing we can't take in our stride. Chippy dinner, pies for tea and might just watch the football, well maybe with one eye
» An old, fat fool starts a log. Hope no-one minds (Go to post)22-01-2021 @ 21:19 
I am disinterested in football, not uninterested you understand, disinterested in the true sense of the word.

I watch Match of the Day on a Saturday, as they show all the interesting bits and talking points from the matches, edit out the eighty minutes of boring nonsense and then provide expert analysis which never fails to spot about a hundred things that I would never have seen even if my head was clamped and my eyelids stitched open.

I carry very little about actual results, I don't care about who wins what or gets relegated where. I have favourites and teams I like a little less but there is very little in it.

In the old days when I used to go to work and mix with real, three dimensional people there was fun to be had with the following :

Because of where I work there are many Manchester United fans and a fair number of Manchester City fans. United had a jolly time of it under twenty odd years of Ferguson but fared rather worse after he went. This coincided with City's ascendency. Which made things worse for the average United fan.

The reason for this I have gleaned over the years is that to be a fan of football you don't have to be a fan of football, you have to be a fan of a club. The fans watch this club every chance they get but if they cannot, they don't go to another lower club and watch their football, they don't bother that week.

In addition to having a club that you love, you also must have a clunb that you hate. There doesn't seem to be a great deal of choice in this, for example United fans seem to hate either Liverpool or City. This is presumably so you would feel better if your team lost and the hated team lost but doubly bad if your team lost and the hated team won.

Now to the fun bit, when United's failings coincided with City's success, I would suggest to the quite morbid United fans that they should support City for a while as they seemed to be doing rather well.

The reaction to this was a sight to behold, generally apoplectic splutterings and ravings and undisguised shock and horror that I could even suggest such a thing. Clearly I was some form of madman who didn't get "it"

I have known football fans who have changed their wives, their kids, their careers or which side of the globe they live on. All these things can be considered and even done. But switch allegiance to a football club ? Never while there is breath in my body !!

So gentle reader, if you and I went to a certain, splendid chip shop on a Saturday night and enjoyed very fine fish and chips, and then the chippy took several turns for the worse, the price went up, the chips cold and soggy, the fish smaller. I would simply go to another chippy and eat large portions of good, hot food, but you stayed true to the rubbish chippy.

Fast forward a couple of years and the rubbish chippy has changed hands, been done up and once again served reasonable priced, delicious food. Would you take me to one side and call me a "fair weather" customer. Would you prod me in the chest and ask me where I was when they were serving s**t ?

I assume that would depend on whether you were a football supporter or not ? Then again, maybe not, as football fans assure me that the above behaviour would make perfect sense in any scenario bar one.

You've guessed it - football is the exception. They are as sure of that as they are of their own name. They just don't seem to know why.

Thank you for your attention
» An old, fat fool starts a log. Hope no-one minds (Go to post)22-01-2021 @ 20:41 
Recently I have had bacon barms for tea, usually on a Friday. Tonight was no different insomuch as I had bacon barms but very different insomuch as on a whim, I decided to toast the bread. For toaster size and timing reasons I toasted only one half of each barm but I can announce to all that it was a roaring success and made a huge positive difference.
» An old, fat fool starts a log. Hope no-one minds (Go to post)21-01-2021 @ 19:33 
Snow last night, luckily it had all gone by the time the Thursday Tesco run came around. Rained pretty much all day but nothing like as bad as the forecast suggested. Friday again tomorrow which isn't exactly a surprise but the speed with which it gets here is.

Boris was on the news earlier, he was looking at the rivers in Didsbury, which by all accounts were impressive and worth seeing, reading between the lines, lockdown won't be eased until April at the earliest. s**t !
» An old, fat fool starts a log. Hope no-one minds (Go to post)19-01-2021 @ 20:03 
Wigan said:According to Suzie Dent, to testiculate is to talk bollox whilst gesturing with your arms


I am a huge fan of Suzie Dent and whatever she says she's right. Plus she editted the 20th edition of Brewer's dictionary of phrase and fable
» An old, fat fool starts a log. Hope no-one minds (Go to post)19-01-2021 @ 15:22 
Wayne_Cowdrey said:
What about anal related activity? Grin


All good, clean fun. The sign of a healthy mind
» An old, fat fool starts a log. Hope no-one minds (Go to post)19-01-2021 @ 12:30 
Wigan said:The act of looking longingly at someone else's food is to groke, or groking.


Excellent, that does ring a bell.

A gongoozler is a person who has interest in canal related activity
» An old, fat fool starts a log. Hope no-one minds (Go to post)18-01-2021 @ 18:40 
Today's fact, courtesy of Richard Osman's house of games is a string of typographical symbols %?!*& or similar, used to replace an obscenity, usually in comics is called a grawlix
» An old, fat fool starts a log. Hope no-one minds (Go to post)18-01-2021 @ 18:37 
Wayne_Cowdrey said:
Yes. I've been doing a bit extra work on my left side for decades (grip, shoulders, whatever), but the imbalances have always persisted! I actually think they are near impossible to rectify.


I would agree with that, in my bodybuilding days I would, if performing single arm stuff, always do my weaker arm first, and then limit my stronger arm to whatever my weaker one had done. It didn't help but it didn't make things worse wither
» An old, fat fool starts a log. Hope no-one minds (Go to post)18-01-2021 @ 12:34 
Sadly they failed to mention Dutch Cornets which is now looking extremely unlikely
» An old, fat fool starts a log. Hope no-one minds (Go to post)18-01-2021 @ 12:32 
According to last night's TV the queen owns all sturgeon, dolphins and whales in British waters. It dates back to a statute dating back to 1324
» An old, fat fool starts a log. Hope no-one minds (Go to post)17-01-2021 @ 20:24 
Sparrow said:
Iíll see if I can get some consistent COC work going.


It's easier said then done. I tend to dabble while watching TV of an evening.

Workdays by the kettle, are now taken by kettlebell squats, it seemed a tad apposite
» An old, fat fool starts a log. Hope no-one minds (Go to post)16-01-2021 @ 15:02 
Funky_monkey said:Glad to read your good news, Mr Pete. I miss the most odd british things.


They were every bit as good as you remember them
» An old, fat fool starts a log. Hope no-one minds (Go to post)16-01-2021 @ 10:13 
Another Saturday has rolled around. The good news is I believe the chip shop re-opened during the week so that is today's dinner sorted.

I only go out once a week, on my shopping trip, the rest of the time I am in, either working or not, and yet the weeks seem to fly by. Seems odd to me
» An old, fat fool starts a log. Hope no-one minds (Go to post)14-01-2021 @ 07:08 
If an impoverished dolphin dies, does it get a porpoise funeral ?

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