hardest decision of my life
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| Villa_Ste |  | hardest decision of my life | 17-03-2013 @ 07:59 |
stingy with his letters Member 496, 668 posts SQ 210, BP 190, DL 230630.0 kgs @ 111kgs UnEq | Long story short my girlfriend of 2 years is going back to new zealand. she was born here but lived there for 7 year and when she came back to england 2 year ago we met and bought a house last march. we went new zealand last month for a hol and so i could see it, but this has made her want to go back realising how much she hates england. she wants me to go but i just dont know what to do!! i love her more than i could love anyone else, but i am a family man and would miss them so much. my parents are nearly 70 now aswell and id like to be there for them. to add to that new zealand is very expensive and i dont feel we'd have any where near as much free cash as we do now. i also have a decent paid job now where i know with my skills etc i couldnt replace. Sorry to go on and be so gay lol, but i had to vent and maybe get some opinions | ||
| drew | | ... | 17-03-2013 @ 08:32 |
 I thought Joplin choked on a sandwich? Member 616, 8404 posts SQ 180, BP 130, DL 220530.0 kgs @ 78.8kgs UnEq | Sounds like a toughy so you have my sympathies. I can relate to this a bit as I thought about doing the whole travelling thing a couple of years ago but it was the family that kept me here. Some people would poo poo that but I just sympathise with them for not having as good relationships as we do and the joy it can bring Thing I always think is to do what you think will make you happiest. Nothing else matters. Everything always works out and I think as people we always think we made the right choice and will see the greener grass because of it Good luck | ||
| Boar | | ... | 17-03-2013 @ 08:45 |
 Walk your talk Member 5, 25557 posts Administrator | its tough , but i think you should stay here, if its unbarable being apart when she goes then you can go yourself , but for now, i would stay. | ||
| jimmy312894 | | ... | 17-03-2013 @ 09:22 |
 312894 is jimmys prison number Member 402, 472 posts SQ 240, BP 180, DL 270690.0 kgs @ 113kgs UnEq | in my opinion i think you should go if you love her as much as you say you do,although you will miss your family they all have there own lives and partners and should understand and with modern technology now a days you can skype and see your family everyday. don't risk being unhappy and letting the possible love of your life go | ||
| Samthepigman | | ... | 17-03-2013 @ 09:24 |
 See You Next Tuesday Member 2254, 3824 posts SQ 240, BP 165, DL 300705.0 kgs @ 89kgs UnEq | Is she willing to leave u in england and go alone, without hesitation? If so id stay here, if not come to a compromise and maybe move out there in a few years if u both still want to. Going on holiday somewhere will always make that place look appealing as u dont have to deal with the day to day stuff and just have fun | ||
| Fazc | | ... | 17-03-2013 @ 09:29 |
 Sports an extremely muscular arse. Member 38, 6253 posts | I'd stay. Not being harsh, but she doesn't love you enough to stay here. Yet now you're thinking of leaving your life for her? Don't do it. | ||
| VanillaGorilla | | ... | 17-03-2013 @ 09:37 |
 the UK's leading expert in bio mechanics Member 1973, 7379 posts | Fazc said:I'd stay. Not being harsh, but she doesn't love you enough to stay here. Yet now you're thinking of leaving your life for her? Don't do it. That is a good point well made! | ||
| Villa_Ste | | ... | 17-03-2013 @ 09:53 |
stingy with his letters Member 496, 668 posts SQ 210, BP 190, DL 230630.0 kgs @ 111kgs UnEq | Cheers for the advice. she did want to go back not long after getting here but stayed for me. She says being here makes her extremely unhappy. i just dont know what to do. letting her go will haunt me but i fear going there will leave me unhappy. i feel either way im not gonna be happy | ||
| bertie | | ... | 17-03-2013 @ 09:53 |
I work as a boner Member 3115, 490 posts SQ 240, BP 140, DL 300680.0 kgs @ 132kgs Eq | I think you should go, after all if you do and don't like it you can always come back, however if you don't go you'll regret it for the rest of you're life. | ||
| Mark | | ... | 17-03-2013 @ 10:28 |
Member. Member 2171, 1612 posts | Plenty of years left in your life, go and try it out. Could be the best thing you ever did. Look at the options: You stay, she goes: both unhappy She stays: she's unhappy so both unhappy You both go: possibly both happy. The only scenario where it looks like you could both be happy is both going. You could plan it so that it gives you time to save for a few flights home should they be needed. | ||
| MrSmall | | ... | 17-03-2013 @ 10:38 |
Gone and easily forgotten....... Member 331, 22298 posts SQ 185, BP 100, DL 230515.0 kgs @ 85kgs UnEq | The thing that would come to mind here if it were my parents, is that they would tell me not to tie myself to a place just because they are there and they are getting old. Do you have other family near your folks? Do you think your parents would take it badly if you left and got on with your life? Are you married? Do you have kids? How long have you been together? I know how she feels, after you leave a place you love, every time you go back you want to return again more and more each time. Also practicalities do have a way of sorting themselves out if you want to really do something. You will have less "free cash", well it was free cash anyway, it wasn't essentials cash was it? There is more to life than having a bank balance. | ||
| JackRevans | | ... | 17-03-2013 @ 10:53 |
 'There was also a sausage in my mouth.' Member 2477, 16481 posts SQ 190, BP 130, DL 235555.0 kgs @ 83kgs UnEq | go to India to compromise or go to panama also to compromise | ||
| Wayne_Cowdrey | | ... | 17-03-2013 @ 11:08 |
 Still got a little bit of strength Member 400, 22042 posts | When will teleportation be invented? Tough one. Aside from your whole family moving to NZ, there's no perfect solution  | ||
| IrishMarc | | ... | 17-03-2013 @ 11:59 |
no really Irish Member 1196, 5908 posts SQ 312, BP 230, DL 320862.0 kgs @ 114kgs UnEq | Boar said:its tough , but i think you should stay here, if its unbarable being apart when she goes then you can go yourself , but for now, i would stay. This is good advice IMO | ||
| Villa_Ste | | ... | 17-03-2013 @ 12:44 |
stingy with his letters Member 496, 668 posts SQ 210, BP 190, DL 230630.0 kgs @ 111kgs UnEq | Boar said:its tough , but i think you should stay here, if its unbarable being apart when she goes then you can go yourself , but for now, i would stay. This is what my girlfriend says is prob the best idea for me. | ||