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My mate Dave

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little_a		My mate Dave	21-09-2007 @ 21:04
still a devious weightlifting bastard Member 43, 14374 posts	Dave was bragging to his boss one day, 'You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.' Tired of his constant boasting, his boss called his bluff, 'OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?' 'No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it. 'So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and Tom Cruise shouts, 'Dave! What's happening? Great to see you! Come on in, have a beer! Although impressed, Dave's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just lucky. 'No, no, just name anyone else,' Dave says. 'President Bush,' his boss quickly retorts. 'Yup,' Dave says, 'Old buddies, let's fly out to Washington .' And off they go. At the White House, Bush spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up.' Well, the boss is much shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else. 'The Pope,' his boss replies. 'Sure!' says Dave. 'I've known the Pope for years.' So off they fly to Rome . Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses at the Vatican when Dave says, 'This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope.' He disappears into the crowd headed towards the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Making his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him, 'What happened?' His boss looks up and says, 'It was the final straw - you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said...... .. 'Who the f**k's that on the balcony with Dave?
Rob		...	21-09-2007 @ 22:24
Does f*ck all for SugdenBarbell.co.uk Member 1, 7173 posts SQ 182.5, BP 110, DL 205 497.5 kgs @ 107kgs UnEq Administrator	lol
mishima		...	22-09-2007 @ 07:36
pink french superstar beard Member 26, 4030 posts SQ 190, BP 0, DL 205 395.0 kgs @ 75kgs UnEq	Excellent!
Carl		...	22-09-2007 @ 10:23
Loves rugby league ... Member 13, 14460 posts SQ 230, BP 180.5, DL 262.5 673.0 kgs @ 128kgs UnEq Administrator	lol
badboy007		...	22-09-2007 @ 11:47
Dirty little devil Member 138, 356 posts	lol
badboy007		...	22-09-2007 @ 11:48
Dirty little devil Member 138, 356 posts	lol I detect some parody there?
Fatpete		...	22-09-2007 @ 11:55
Hyper obese Pete Member 70, 17871 posts SQ 322.5, BP 205, DL 300 827.5 kgs @ 133kgs Eq	Dave who ? Do I know him ?
badboy007		...	22-09-2007 @ 13:16
Dirty little devil Member 138, 356 posts	Wouldn't say I know Dave well, but I know his brother in law if that counts.. funny f**kers! lol
IainKendrick		...	22-09-2007 @ 14:38
some nice relaxing jazz. Member 77, 12599 posts SQ 265, BP 165, DL 280 710.0 kgs @ 93kgs UnEq	Excellent!
little_a		...	23-09-2007 @ 17:55
still a devious weightlifting bastard Member 43, 14374 posts	Originally posted by Fatpete... Dave who ? Do I know him ? Oh yeah. Everyone knows Dave
Wigan		...	23-09-2007 @ 21:05
a cynical old scrote Member 68, 6840 posts SQ 255, BP 132.5, DL 250 637.5 kgs @ 110kgs UnEq	Does Dave know me?
purplepaul		...	23-09-2007 @ 23:30
has free and readily available gothic porn Member 29, 1088 posts SQ 1, BP 100, DL 200 301.0 kgs @ 103kgs UnEq	i once had dave, it was so good i had to turn to women
little_a		...	24-09-2007 @ 07:01
still a devious weightlifting bastard Member 43, 14374 posts	Originally posted by Wigan... Does Dave know me? Possibly not, but his Mrs does and his mam knows me
little_a		...	24-09-2007 @ 07:01
still a devious weightlifting bastard Member 43, 14374 posts	Originally posted by purplepaul... i once had dave, it was so good i had to turn to women Women are great, but you cant beat the real thing