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Last day at work and ACCIDENTALLY left them a present!

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CAJIcon...09-09-2016 @ 17:01 
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I recommend the track - Slut Machine
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Boar said:my last day working at Halfords befor I went for a years backpacking I had 5 pints of cider in my dinner hour ..... went back in , took a giant piss on the shop floor , by the oil display and went home.

BTW , I loved working there, had an absolute blast , great times......


I worked at halfords for 4 years and I too had a blast! Great job at the time that was.
jwpIcon...09-09-2016 @ 17:15 
vhs porn
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I used to deliver carpet - and once i got a s**tty address in a residential street in a busy city (not exceptionally unusual, loads of cheap pricks use their garage as a warehouse etc.). When i got there, the guy was not happy - told me i should never go there and why wasn't at his warehouse across town, didn't i know his company, i'll have to go there do i know where it is blah blah.

As it was, i did know where his warehouse was (it was actually a unit at a self storage facility which you had to hassle their guys to open up etc, which i guess is why he used it - free staff). But i took exception to his dickhead attitude - i was there because that was the address he gave for my delivery notes, and i didn't instead twig and go to his usual place because the chippy ar****le didn't use exactly the same business name for his shop and his storage (probably a tax dodging wa**er), and if he knew how many "[abreviation of city name] flooring" companies there were, he'd know why his 2 slightly different company names wouldn't get a second glance from any flooring delivery gimp.

I told him i was there because that was was written on my f**king sheet, and yes i know his warehouse and no, i'm not going there - he would have to wait for it to be redelivered in a few days unless he took it there, at the address he gave. He asked me angrily where exactly he was supposed to put it in his showroom, i told him politely exactly where he could put it and left.

A few days later, i had a delivery to his storage, and again, as any flooring delivery f**k will tell, if there's a small chance you are going to need a s**t that day, you'd better fill the first toilet you find because you don't know when the next chance will come.

And as luck had it, his place had a crapper. Which was obviously about as well-cleaned as you could guess. So i half squatted above until the deed was done, and f**k me if by some absurd biomechanical fluke i hadn't left a massive stripe of s**t from halfway up the bowl to about 4" past the seat! It looked like a horrid toothpaste had been carefully squeezed in place, and unfortunately i had to leave for a timed delivery before i could clean it up! Still keeps me awake at night, worrying about my professional conduct that day 2 years back...
CAJIcon...09-09-2016 @ 17:19 
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I recommend the track - Slut Machine
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^^brilliant!

Has anyone ever managed to get s**t on the ceiling without trying? I've seen this phenomenon on several occasions in public toilets and often wonder how the f**k that happens!?
samue1sonIcon...09-09-2016 @ 18:33 
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CAJ said:^^brilliant!

Has anyone ever managed to get s**t on the ceiling without trying? I've seen this phenomenon on several occasions in public toilets and often wonder how the f**k that happens!?

Flat Earth bro. It happens when the Earth flips upside down for a nanosecond but s**t is fluffier than human density so it sort of.., sticks there.
Or maybe evaporation, or other mythical sciences.
Funky_monkeyIcon...09-09-2016 @ 19:22 
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403 forbidden message
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Boar said:he was a bricklayer in Sydney .....he didn't ask

brickies labourer = hard but 600 dollars a week in 1997 was ace.


I'd be happy with..hang on... Australian dollars. Still, not a bad wage back then!
scruffmcbuffIcon...09-09-2016 @ 20:53 
Lovely ass Congrats.
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Funky_monkey said:The first day I stayed at my brother in law's parents' house, on the last day, I left one of my epic s**ts. It blocked the toilet and would NOT go. It was a good 12 inches and about as thick as a subway footlong. Firm, all in one piece. It was solid, a truly trophy s**t!

As I said, it just wouldn't flush at all. Not even three flushes did anything. My mum put it in a carrier bag and threw it in the bin. I'm not sure if my brother-in-law or his parents know about it to this day.



No way. Your ring must be like a wizards sleeve to let a bomb like that drop!
How did you mum transfer the turd from toilet to carrier bag?
JackRevansIcon...09-09-2016 @ 21:27 
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'There was also a sausage in my mouth.'
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This is the greatest thread of all time
Wayne_CowdreyIcon...09-09-2016 @ 22:39 
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Still got a little bit of strength
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JackRevans said:
This is the greatest thread of all time


Coprophile.
RicoIcon...10-09-2016 @ 10:10 
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Sugdens very own David Dimbleby
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theres a video I watched yesterday where a chap eats a taco bell, drinks a bottle of laxative and superglues his ar****le shut.
JackRevansIcon...11-09-2016 @ 10:16 
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'There was also a sausage in my mouth.'
Member 2477, 16481 posts
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Rico said:theres a video I watched yesterday where a chap eats a taco bell, drinks a bottle of laxative and superglues his ar****le shut.


what is the result of this?
RicoIcon...11-09-2016 @ 11:21 
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Sugdens very own David Dimbleby
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The_Lone_WolfIcon...12-09-2016 @ 12:13 
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I eat a lot of meat
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Funky_monkey said:The first day I stayed at my brother in law's parents' house, on the last day, I left one of my epic s**ts. It blocked the toilet and would NOT go. It was a good 12 inches and about as thick as a subway footlong. Firm, all in one piece. It was solid, a truly trophy s**t!

As I said, it just wouldn't flush at all. Not even three flushes did anything. My mum put it in a carrier bag and threw it in the bin. I'm not sure if my brother-in-law or his parents know about it to this day.


Did you not try the trusty coat hanger trick to give it a stab and break it up?

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