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JabbaIconJoke.09-08-2012 @ 14:20 
and the winning number is... 88!
Member 647, 2062 posts
SQ 222.5, BP 152.5, DL 242.5
617.5 kgs @ 136kgs UnEq
I was suddenly awoken with a blow job this morning.



That's the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open Embarassed
drew2Icon...09-08-2012 @ 16:45 
drew too
Member 2696, 249 posts
I was out walking my dog last night when an old granny shouted "You make sure you pick that sh*t up!"
"Calm down for f**ks sake" I shouted back "Let me wipe my a*se first"
shanejerIcon...09-08-2012 @ 16:48 
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found the golden ticket
Member 1307, 14002 posts
SQ 280, BP 190, DL 320
790.0 kgs @ 86kgs UnEq
VanillaGorillaIcon...09-08-2012 @ 16:49 
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the UK's leading expert in bio mechanics
Member 1973, 7201 posts
My neighbour knocked on my door at 0230 this morning, can you believe it?! Banging on my door at HALF PAST f**kING TWO IN THE MORNING!!!

Luckily I was up playing my drums at the time.
slimsimIcon...09-08-2012 @ 16:50 
My asshole is not watertight.
Member 2926, 5101 posts
SQ 215, BP 125, DL 250
590.0 kgs @ 86kgs UnEq
Jabba said:I was suddenly awoken with a blow job this morning.



That's the last time I fall asleep on the train with my mouth open Embarassed

yes, I did lol at it!! Another one of yours.....

Just lost the first leg of the world foreskin tugging championships but I think I can pull it back! Grin
JabbaIcon...09-08-2012 @ 18:32 
and the winning number is... 88!
Member 647, 2062 posts
SQ 222.5, BP 152.5, DL 242.5
617.5 kgs @ 136kgs UnEq
Paddy took 2 stuffed dogs to the Antiques Roadshow.....

"Oh,said the presenter, this is a very fine work by a famous taxidermist. Do you know what they would fetch if they were in good condition ?"


"Sticks" Paddy replied.

Got thrown out of the chemist today. I asked the pretty young female assistant "Do you take it up the arse or do you swallow?"

Still don't know what to do with these suppositories Angry
FatpeteIcon...09-08-2012 @ 19:33 
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lilly livered.
Member 70, 8825 posts
SQ 322.5, BP 205, DL 300
827.5 kgs @ 133kgs Eq
An englishman, irishman, welshman, scotsman, a dane, a finn, a norwegian, a swede, a belgian, a frenchman, a german, an american, a canadian, an australian, a mongolian, a malaysian, a cambodian, a vietnamese, a new zealander, a peruvian, a chilean and an argentine all walk into a bar.

Barman says

"sorry lads, can't serve you without a Thai"
drew2Icon...09-08-2012 @ 19:46 
drew too
Member 2696, 249 posts
I am now the world champion for holding your breathe under water. It all started at the local swimming pool when a young girl shouted "Thats him over there Dad!"

My mates wife left him a few days ago, she said she was going to fetch a pint of milk and never came back. I said to him "I'm sorry to hear that mate, how are you coping", he said "It's ok, I'm using that powdered stuff"
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